Assessing anger issues

Because anger is fundamentally a raw emotion, we often don't give it much analysis. But if you believe that you or someone you know has a real anger problem, investigating the origins of anger and how they affect feelings and behaviors can help. Understanding what makes you angry and how you respond won't solve the problem, but those steps will start you on the right path.

Identifying your triggers

Effective anger management is not just about dealing with anger after an outburst. It's much better to prevent an outburst in the first place—by knowing your triggers and being ready with healthy responses. The first step in gaining a better understanding of your anger is figuring out what specifically makes you angry.

Everyone has a unique set of triggers. You may be someone who loses your temper quickly when things don't go according to plan, or you are thrown off your schedule. Or you may get angry when the conversation turns to politics. And if you harbor anger about hurts or slights from years ago, simply being reminded of those painful episodes may be enough to make you upset.

To identify your triggers, think about why certain things always get to you. In a moment of calm, start a list of people or situations that seem to repeatedly stir up angry feelings. Later, when you find yourself starting to stew about something, add that to the list. Thinking about your triggers and labeling them as such can help you as you pursue ways of managing your anger.

Simply identifying the situations that get you steamed may help you view some of them differently, allowing you to find some perspective. But perhaps more importantly, knowing your triggers might allow you to anticipate your reaction and choose a more useful response.

Examining your responses

The second part of assessing your own anger issues, after identifying your triggers, is recognizing how you tend to respond to anger and starting to develop better coping mechanisms. First, take some time to think about what you do when angry. Friends, relatives, and co-workers may be able to help if you ask them to share their observations. While everyone deals with anger in their own way, people who could benefit from anger management to moderate or channel expressions of anger often share common traits.

They include the following:

• Verbal outbursts. You often say things in anger that you later regret. Worse, you may not recall what you said or, if you do, you may feel no remorse or guilt.
• Ruminating over negative or painful memories. You find yourself returning again and again to moments in your life that stir up anger and frustration.
• Self-loathing. You may feel isolated, alienated, unloved, or underachieving, leading to anger with yourself for not having more financial or professional success, a more robust social life, or lasting relationships.
• Blaming. You often look for other people to blame for your problems or the challenges in society.
• Overreactions. You hear something that bothers you on the news, or you encounter some minor inconvenience, and your response exceeds the magnitude of the bad news or the problem.
• Negative outlook. You see problems everywhere, are quick to start arguments, and are generally unhappy. Your vision of the future is more hopeless than hopeful.
• Physical outbursts. You slam doors, throw or break things, strike other people, or storm out of a room. When assessing your responses to anger, be as specific as possible.

Do you tend to get defensive when someone offers a suggestion or constructive criticism? Do you immediately reach for a drink when you start to feel angry or frustrated? Do you raise your voice as soon as you start to feel angry?

Think about actual instances when you feel your anger got the best of you and make a note of what happened—the cause of your anger and how you reacted.

To learn more about what may be causing your anger, read Anger Management, an Online Guide from Harvard Medical School.

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