Reaching the climax

Regular orgasms offer numerous health benefits for men, such as lowering stress, boosting mood, and improving sleep quality. Some research has suggested that they may help reduce the risk of heart disease and prostate cancer.

However, as they age, men can face obstacles to achieving orgasms. They may be unable to have an orgasm during sex (a condition known as anorgasmia), or it may take a frustratingly long time to climax (what's called delayed orgasm). Men also may have trouble maintaining an erection long enough to have sex. Sometimes, lack of arousal can prevent them from reaching an orgasm.

"Men don't have to achieve an orgasm every time during sex to have a satisfying experience with their partner," says Dr. Sharon Bober, director of the Sexual Health Program at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. "But if men are unable to have regular orgasms during sex, there are ways to help."

Many issues can contribute to problems having orgasm, such as low testosterone levels, medication side effects, and psychological problems like anxiety and stress, so first check with your doctor. Still, sometimes men only need extra stimulation or sexual excitement to reach orgasm. Or they may require help maintaining an erection (and don't want to rely on erectile dysfunction medication). In these cases, Dr. Bober suggests trying the following strategies.

Masturbate more

Masturbating alongside your partner or enlisting their help can increase excitement. "Masturbation helps reduce the stress of performance or climaxing within a certain period, since you can take your time and go at your own pace," says Dr. Bober.

Men also may benefit from frequent solo masturbation. "Men know what arouses them, and masturbating more by themselves can help them focus on their own pleasure," says Dr. Bober. "This may help lower expectations with partner sex because they don't have to view having an orgasm as the ultimate goal of their satisfaction. Instead, they can focus on the experience of connecting with their partner, which can increase arousal."

Get erotic

Reading erotic literature together can stimulate sexual desire through storytelling, imagery, fantasy, and language. "Reading and listening stimulate your largest sexual organ: your brain," says Dr. Bober.

There are now many erotic novels and short story anthologies that cater specifically to older adults. (You can find a wide selection with an Internet search and via websites for publishing houses and booksellers.)

Play with toys

Many kinds of sex toys and devices help increase stimulation and help maintain erections. For instance, the penile vibratory device is placed around the penis and vibrates to stimulate the nerves in the base of the penis to encourage an orgasm. It's used before sex and can be incorporated into foreplay. To help maintain an erection, men could try a penile band, also known as an ED ring. It fastens around the base of an erect penis to keep blood from escaping. Bands are made of rubber, plastic, or silicone and can be bought online.

Another helpful device is a vacuum pump. You place your penis into an airtight plastic cylinder that's attached to a handheld pump. Air is pumped out of the cylinder to create a vacuum, which increases blood flow to the penis. It takes about five minutes to get an erection. You then remove your penis from the cylinder and fit a penile band around its base to prevent blood from draining.

The erection lasts until the band is removed. Some pumps are manual, while others operate on a battery. You can find them in many pharmacies and online.

Go exploring

Devote more time to the excitement of hugging, kissing, and exploring each other's bodies, and experiment with different foreplay like giving each other a massage or giving and receiving oral sex. Also, talk with your partner about what they are interested in trying. This could include fantasies, role playing, or different sexual positions.

"Many times, just having the conversation can boost arousal for both people," says Dr. Bober.

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