Could couples therapy be right for you?

Marriage can be one of life's greatest joys, but it's no secret that staying together takes work. For couples looking to strengthen their bond or navigate challenges, therapy can offer a path toward deeper connection and understanding.

What is couples therapy?

Couples therapy is a form of counseling that involves both partners in a relationship. This form of therapy is provided by a licensed therapist who is trained to help couples resolve conflicts they are experiencing. Couples therapy for married couples may be called marital therapy.

Most couples therapy aims to reduce relationship stress and promote couple well‐being. The therapy can address issues specific to one member of the couple that are impacting the relationship, as well as issues between partners. Couples therapy can help partners improve communication and deepen their emotional connection.

Couples therapy combines multiple areas of focus, such as improving communication, working through emotions, and exploring past experiences, to create a personalized approach that fits each couple's needs.

Therapists may use different techniques during couples therapy. Some of the most frequently used techniques include:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a type of talk therapy that helps people identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors to improve their mental well-being.
• Emotionally focused couple therapy, an attachment-based approach that helps partners overcome distress by addressing emotional disconnection and fostering secure, supportive bonds through new emotional experiences.
• Gottman method therapy, an approach to couples therapy that helps improve communication, deepen intimacy, and foster empathy and understanding by addressing how thoughts, behaviors, and emotions shape relationship dynamics.
• Integrative systemic therapy, a problem-centered approach that addresses diverse and complex family systems while fostering collaboration to guide personalized and effective care.

Couples therapy is usually effective. According to a study published in Family Process, by the end of treatment, most people who've participated in couples therapy feel better than 70% to 80% of those who don't get help.

Who can benefit from couples therapy?

Couples therapy can benefit people in relationships experiencing:

• • communication challenges
  • money-related conflicts
  • disagreements about parenting
  • infidelity or trust issues
  • struggles with substance use
  • step-parenting dynamics
  • differing expectations in the relationship
  • intimacy or sexual concerns.

A stressed relationship can have a negative effect on the mental and physical health of the partners in the relationship. But it can also impact children in negative ways, such as by causing health problems or contributing to poor academic performance. By relieving some of the stress of the relationship, couples therapy can benefit both the partners and the children.

Importantly, couples therapy isn't just for relationships in crisis. It can also help partners striving to improve their bond or build a strong foundation to prevent future conflicts.

Couples therapy for life transitions

Any major life change, such as having a child, a death in the family, or moving, can strain a relationship. For some couples, the empty-nest phase — when children leave for college or to set out on their own — can bring unresolved issues, which were previously overshadowed by the demands of parenting, to the surface. Or they may find that they no longer have much in common, or that their dynamics have shifted in the absence of their children.

Another life change that impacts couples in their later years is retirement. Therapy can help couples navigate these challenges, providing a space to reconnect, redefine their roles, and build a stronger bond as they adapt to this new stage of life.

What to expect from couples therapy

Couples therapy typically involves weekly sessions, often lasting about an hour, and may include tasks or homework to continue the work between meetings. Both partners typically meet together with the therapist, though individual sessions may occasionally be part of the process. The duration of therapy varies based on the couple's needs but typically lasts between three and 12 months. Some couples may require only a few sessions to address specific concerns, while others engage in therapy for longer to work through deeper or more complex issues.

During sessions, the therapist acts as a neutral mediator, fostering open communication and helping both partners express their feelings honestly and respectfully. By creating a safe, nonjudgmental environment, the therapist encourages couples to speak freely and address deep-seated misunderstandings that may be hindering their connection.

It's common for one partner to resist couples therapy. When one partner is unwilling, individual therapy can still offer valuable insights and strategies for navigating relationship challenges. But couples therapy is most effective when both partners are invested in the process.

What to look for in a couples therapist

Couple and marriage therapists are mental health professionals trained in psychotherapy and licensed to diagnose and treat mental and emotional disorders within the context of marriage, couple, and family systems.

When choosing a couples therapist, look for a licensed mental health professional with specialized training and experience working with relationships. Mental health specialists who practice couples therapy include:

• • psychiatrists (MD, DO)
  • psychologists (PhD)
  • licensed clinical social workers (LCSW)
  • licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFT)
  • clinical mental health counselor (CMHC).

You can research a therapist's credentials and experience using resources like the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy website. Once you've confirmed a psychologist's qualifications and expertise, your comfort level with them becomes the most important factor. Therapists and clients work as a team, so finding the right fit is essential.