How to stop stressing over minor memory lapses

Everybody knows about "senior moments" — episodes of momentary forgetfulness about things like someone's name or where you parked the car. You might not fret about these cognitive hiccups if they're infrequent. But what if you're constantly forgetting little details? The stress of worrying about memory loss can be taxing and make your thinking skills even fuzzier.

"When you're stressed, your focus is pulled off of the tasks you're working on and you may begin thinking or worrying about the stressor. This can decrease mental clarity and make it harder to focus, making mild memory lapses more prominent," says Dr. Stephanie Buss, a cognitive neurologist and director of the Memory Disorders A2Z Clinic at Harvard-affiliated Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center.

Is it warranted?

It's natural to be concerned about memory loss. "This can stem from seeing family members or friends who've received a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment or dementia, or it might come from noticing cognitive changes over time," Dr. Buss says.

That doesn't mean your thinking skills are faltering. Small memory lapses can be normal with aging. This includes things like forgetting someone's name briefly (feeling that it's on the tip of your tongue) or walking into a room and momentarily forgetting why you walked in.

"We worry more about large memory lapses, such as forgetting parts of conversations or recent or upcoming events, changes in the ability to speak or understand, or changes in focus or organization that affect your day-to-day life. Any decline in your ability to do complex tasks such as managing medications, working, driving, cooking, or managing finances would also be cause for concern and evaluation," Dr. Buss says.

Crucial steps to cope

A healthy lifestyle is essential for handling stress of any kind and for maintaining brain health as we age. What does a healthy lifestyle involve?

"Physical activity is one of the most important factors. It promotes healthy cognitive aging, reduces stress, and helps with sleep and mood," Dr. Buss says. "We also strongly recommend that you stay socially engaged, connecting with friends and family regularly. Cognitive activities such as reading, puzzles, games, or listening to music are also vital for maintaining brain health, and are especially powerful when paired with social activities."

Sleep is also key to brain health. You need a full night's sleep (at least seven to nine hours a night) to help the brain cement information into memories and flush away waste associated with Alzheimer's disease. Dr. Buss advises prioritizing sleep hygiene and maintaining a consistent bedtime.

You should also eat a healthy diet, stop smoking, and get underlying conditions (especially high blood pressure) under control.

Managing stress will also help your brain. Meditation, yoga, tai chi, deep breathing exercises, and mindfulness (being present and engaged in each moment) can trigger the relaxation response — the opposite of the stress response. "Treating any associated anxiety and depression can help, too. It can improve focus, sleep, and your motivation to engage in healthy lifestyle activities," Dr. Buss says.

Try these memory strategies

You might also feel less concerned about memory lapses by using practical strategies to retain information.

"For example, when you meet a new person, use their name in conversation right away to help you remember it," Dr. Buss suggests. "Also, keep a single, central calendar and refer to it regularly; that's easier than keeping information in multiple places."

She also recommends always placing your keys or glasses in a designated spot; taking your medication at the same time each day; and using notebooks, address books, and other tools to organize and store information for fast retrieval, rather than relying entirely on your memory.

When to seek help

"Feel free to bring up concerns to your doctor, who can help you figure out what's normal and what requires more investigation," Dr. Buss says. "Consider involving loved ones in these discussions; perhaps they've noticed memory lapses you're unaware of. But don't wait if you're worried. It's possible that you just need a quick memory screening and a talk with your doctor about lifestyle factors to improve your memory."

If you'd like more information, check out the Harvard Special Health Report Improving Memory.

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