Living your best life

At some point, everyone faces their mortality, and their thoughts turn to how to live their best life in their remaining days. But what does that look like, and how can you achieve it?

For answers, we turned to two of Harvard Health Publishing's leading medical experts: Dr. Howard LeWine, age 75, medical editor of Harvard Men's Health Watch, and Dr. Anthony Komaroff, age 83, medical editor of the Harvard Health Letter.

Each has felt the effects of Father Time, as they've dealt with the natural decline that comes with aging as well as age-related health issues. But as they enter the final stage of life, their focus has been not on living longer, but on living better. Here's what they've learned during their journey.

Find your "buzz." At this point in his life, Dr. LeWine says his top goal is preservation. "I want to continue doing all the things I enjoy now well into my 80s and 90s." To achieve that, he devotes extra attention to his exercise routine.

"It's not about just working out at the gym — which I do almost every day — but also doing something that invigorates me," he says. This includes teaching an hourlong spin class three days a week, which he has done for 25 years. "Teaching still excites me and motivates me to keep moving," he says. "I tried different things before, but spinning is what gave me that 'buzz.'"

To find your buzz, Dr. LeWine suggests trying different activities you find interesting, like hiking, yoga, or swimming, but do them one at a time. "Give it your complete attention and focus to determine if it's something that really invigorates you," he says. "After a while, you'll know the answer. If it doesn't work out, try something else." And don't be afraid to experiment, he adds. "There are so many different things you can try. Have some fun as you explore."

Set big goals. Goal setting is also part of Dr. LeWine's approach to living better. His motto: Think big. "I would like to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in Africa," he says. "I may not get the opportunity, but in my mind, I know I'm capable of training for it, and that helps drive the motivation to stay active — knowing that I can still achieve a lofty goal if I pursue it."

Live in the now. Dr. LeWine wakes up each day thinking it may be his last. It may sound morbid, but it helps him stay focused on life's small pleasures. "I still do the mundane routines of daily life like everyone else," he says. "But I emphasize finding enjoyment in the little things as I move through my day, like that satisfying first sip of morning coffee, watching the glow of the approaching sunrise, and walking my dog in the woods," he says. "It keeps me grounded and reminds me to be thankful for being alive."

Embrace the change. Everyone who enters their 70s and 80s experiences some physical and mental decline. "The question becomes how comfortable are you at accepting this new reality?" says Dr. Komaroff. "Some people are bothered by their new limitations, while others are not."

Instead, his upbeat attitude propels his healthy outlook. "The changes don't make me unhappy. They only mean I need to make adjustments, and that's okay," he says. For instance, while he can't walk as far or as long as he did 30 years ago, he can still enjoy travel by planning his itineraries around his limitations. "This way, I never feel frustrated or disappointed by what I can't do," he says. "By changing my perspective and putting the focus on what I can do, I continue to stay active."

Have a sense of purpose. According to Dr. Komaroff, one of the most difficult aspects of aging is losing one's sense of purpose. "When some men retire from a profession that gave them meaning and defined their worth, they find it hard to find activities or relationships that provide them meaning."

After a 40-year daily medical practice, Dr. Komaroff found himself in that same situation. His solution was to focus on areas of his career that he enjoyed but didn't have the time to pursue, such as writing and research.

"For me, it's not about re-creating my former workload, but challenging myself to learn and improve in new areas," he says. "This keeps me mentally stimulated and curious, which I know is good for my long-term brain health."

If you can't revisit some part of your career as he did, Dr. Komaroff suggests pursuing new endeavors. "Look back on what hobbies you enjoyed when you were younger but didn't have the time to fully explore, or some other foray you've always wanted to try, like painting, cooking, or music."

Stay social. Research shows that isolation and loneliness are associated with an increased risk for dementia, heart disease, and stroke. Dr. Komaroff says it can be challenging for men to stay socially connected, especially for introverts like himself. "I'm very happy being alone," he says. "But if I'm not careful, when my wife's work requires her to be away, I can get into a routine where I may not speak with anyone else for days, and I know that's not good."

To ensure he maintains engagement, Dr. Komaroff combines his medical background with social opportunities. For instance, for the past five years, he has taught inner-city kids about careers in health care. He sees this as a version of his former daily medical practice, when he would routinely interact with people.

He recommends a similar approach for men who have trouble socializing: "Find ways that you can use your interests, knowledge, and expertise to help others by volunteering for local charities, organizations, and churches," he says. "It motivates you to reach out and help others, and in turn, the interactions help you."

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