The healing power of kindness

Every year, Tyler VanderWeele chooses a six-week span to do things for others that might ordinarily seem too inconvenient. His good deeds are many and varied: he might give a friend an unexpected gift, invite someone out for coffee, set aside time at work to support a colleague, or bring a family member's favorite food to the dinner table.

These examples are more than just random displays of generosity, like the popular trend of paying for coffee for the customer behind you. But whether spontaneous or premeditated, such acts of kindness do more than make the giver and recipient feel good — they can also bolster our psychological and physical health in surprising ways.

"There's compelling evidence that kindness is linked with a number of aspects of health and well-being," VanderWeele says. He is the co-director of the Initiative on Health, Spirituality, and Religion at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, and he has devised his own "kindness strategy" based on such evidence. "Some studies have indicated it can improve happiness and a sense of engagement with life, reduce symptoms of anxiety, and increase a sense of social connectedness."

"If you act kindly toward another, there's also a propagation effect — that person goes on to act more kindly," VanderWeele adds. "There's a profound contagiousness to kindness."

Mounting research

You may believe yourself to be a very kind person. What would demonstrate that? The bar may be higher than you think.

"A genuinely kind person is always on the lookout for how to contribute to the lives of others," VanderWeele says. "In every conversation, you're wondering what you can do or say to be encouraging or helpful."

But what is kindness, exactly? Defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate, or as a favor done for others, "kindness is trying to contribute something positive or good to another person, but also being disposed to do so — wanting good for them," VanderWeele explains.

Once considered too esoteric to study scientifically, kindness joined topics such as gratitude and forgiveness as research themes after the "positive psychology" movement prompted a shift in the late 1990s from focusing solely on mental health problems to examining the effects of positive experiences, emotions, and traits, VanderWeele notes.

It's easy to see how kindness benefits us psychologically, boosting mood, compassion, empathy, and self-esteem. An international trial published online Aug. 19, 2024, by Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology suggested it also decreases social isolation and loneliness, which are increasingly linked to a variety of negative health effects. There's growing research that our bodies benefit too, with kindness associated with lower blood pressure and levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

And volunteerism, which is related to kindness, is connected with living longer and functioning better as we age, VanderWeele points out. "In some ways volunteering is a commitment to try to do good for others," he says.

Focused efforts matter

Consistency also seems to count. Evidence suggests that concentrating kind gestures — such as performing five self-less acts on a single day each week for six weeks, as VanderWeele does — enhances well-being more powerfully than spreading those actions out over the course of a week.

A 2019 study reinforced that concept, finding that doing kind deeds every day for seven days may boost happiness. The study, published in the Journal of Social Psychology, involved nearly 700 people (average age 37, 88% women).

If you focus kind acts into compressed time periods, you may find the practice becomes more instinctual, VanderWeele says. (See "Is kindness born or made?") "It becomes more habit-forming and more intentional," he says. "The very planning shapes one's character to be moved in that direction. And there's real room to think creatively."

VanderWeele says he dearly wishes society would structure news and social media in ways that promote kindness and not its opposite. "I think we've gotten worse in this regard," he says. "There's evidence that when we witness those dynamics, we go on to treat others with more hostility, not kindness."

Ways to do good

Paying for the next customer's coffee order is a trendy way of showing kindness. But it's not hard to come up with other modest gestures that can also yield far-reaching effects. These can include

• complimenting the first three people you see today
• running errands for a neighbor
• walking a friend's dog
• leaving a bigger tip for a service worker
• sending flowers to a beleaguered friend
• picking up groceries for an older person
• listening to a friend or colleague who's having a bad day
• helping your partner with an undesirable household chore
• making a donation to charity
• letting someone jump in line in front of you at the grocery store
• offering your seat on mass transit to someone who's standing
• signing up to volunteer in your community.

"There's a whole range of ways one can contribute, some perhaps more profound than others," VanderWeele says. "Just the simple act of smiling or holding the door open for someone, or perhaps not complaining when you might otherwise, are micro-kindnesses that can lead to a healthier, more flourishing society."

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