Advance your self-awareness
Self-awareness—being in tune with your emotions—might seem straightforward, but most of us tend to overestimate how self-aware we actually are.
As emotional beings, we often believe we're fully in touch with our feelings. You might laugh or cry easily, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're aware of the full range of your emotions without taking the time to dig deeper. One way to enhance self-awareness is through mindfulness—focusing on the present moment and accepting whatever comes up without judgment. If you want to focus specifically on your emotions, try this simple exercise:
- Sit quietly in a comfortable position and close your eyes.
- Bring to mind something a little sad, but not overwhelming.
- Notice where in your body you feel that sadness.
- Place one of your hands on that part of your body in a caring, soothing way.
- Repeat the above steps but substitute different emotions for sadness: fear, anger, joy.
Increasing your awareness of these bodily sensations is key to becoming more emotionally intelligent. When we examine our emotions carefully, we see that they consist of a bodily sensation accompanied by a thought, an image, or both. The more clearly we can recognize emotions in our bodies, the more clearly we know when a feeling is arising within us.
Sensations can serve as an "early warning signal" for problematic or nega¬tive emotions that you might not want to act on automatically. For instance, imagine your spouse or partner says something that upsets you in front of your close friends. Take a moment to feel the sensations of anger in your body, but don't react or say anything right away. Wait a few moments until you can think clearly before responding.
Another helpful practice is to keep a journal, taking special care to write down how specific events or personal interactions you had during the day made you feel. Talking with trusted friends, family members, or a therapist can also help you explore your emotions.
For more advice on building awareness and skills to boost communication and relationships, check out Emotional Intelligence, an online guide from Harvard Medical School.
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